People sometimes believe that they have to have a boyfriend in order to be happy. If you grew up and felt that you were alone or if you grew up in a home that had abuse or where no one was there for you to support your emotions, chances are that you have a feeling that you aren’t worth much.
Chances are that you might think that if you find a man that you will be able to be happy but finding a man that will love you unconditionally is hard and sometimes you will end up with guys that are unable to communicate, ones that cheat on you or even an abusive partner.
You want to meet someone that will love and respect you and you look for a guy that will reassure you and will be romantic, trying to spare your feelings and make you feel better about who you are. When you have these feelings of low self-worth, chances are that you become overly needy and you allow your new guy to use you so that he doesn’t leave or reject you.
When a good guy comes along and shows some kind of interest in you, you are too insecure, or you are afraid that he will hurt you and so you act strange around him or you refuse to be involved with him.
You might even have physical stress or panic attacks or become so stressed that you overeat or eat the wrong foods to make you feel better. You may even get into a situation where you stop communicating with your friends or you fall into an all-out depression.
People sometimes fall out of love and this is because being in relationships is hard. This can cause you to be emotionally drained or to drain them when they do like you.
The problems that you have can include:
- Being afraid that they will leave you.
- Being afraid of rejection.
- Being afraid of opening up and being your real self.
- Being afraid to trust this guy to really love you.
- Being afraid that no one will want you.
- Allowing men to come into your life that are abusive or not open to you.
You are not able to choose who your family is, but you can choose what kind of men you choose to date. You are not able to change your past and if it was dysfunctional, you can’t change that, but you can become better in your future.
There are some signs that you are overly needy or clingy and how to change it:
When you go after a guy you like, you do this because you don’t feel that you are good enough to get him. You will be too insecure to think he can want you and it can cause you to always be there to give him what he wants. Maybe you will have sex with him when you aren’t ready, or you will give him money or go and take care of his home when he has to be out of town.
You might be someone that stops going out with their friends so that you can go out with him instead or you are afraid to tell him no that he might not want to date you anymore.
How to Stop
You have to stop thinking that you aren’t good enough. You do not need someone that much that you can allow them to use you. Do not go into your relationships feeling needy or anxious. Let him call when he wants and do not call him.
Have morals and do not have sex until it is what you want and when you are ready. Do not let men be selfish with you and to keep you feeling unworthy.
Giving More than Getting
Maybe you are always calling or texting him and you ask him out or invite him over. You might be one of those that always keep his favorite foods in the fridge, so he has something to eat when he comes over.
You give him things and mail him stuff and you do this so that you can show him how much you care, but are you getting what you want in return?
How to Stop
Being in a good relationship means that you have to have both giving and taking. When you are always giving, it makes you look like you are desperate and that you need attention.
When you cook for him this time, let him cook or take you out the next time. Let him contact you first. If he doesn’t call you, accept that he doesn’t like you back and save your presents and your kindness for the right guy.
You want a guy to validate you and to take away your insecurities. You might be someone that is envious and someone that is stressed and untrusting. If you are this person, you might stalk your new guy online or drive by his house so that you can see what he is in to. Maybe you feel that he is cheating on you even though you don’t have any real reason.
How to Stop
You have to change your way of thinking. It is the guys job to date you and to try to impress you. He should be able to make you know that he wants you.
The only thing that you need to do is to be kind and to be appreciative and you will get what you deserve. Learn to know that you are worthy of finding love and make him work for it.
If you feel that your guy is not fulfilling your needs, you should not have to beg him. You should never have to hound someone to make love to you or to give you time.
If you are doing this, chances are that you will be overly needy and suffocating in the relationship. This will likely cause your new guy to leave you so that he can have his own space.
How to Stop
Dating is something that should make you feel good and rewarded. Sometimes being away from someone can help you to like them more and vice versa. Give yourself and your guy space and take time for yourself and to go out with your friends.
Spend time doing things on your own and learn to make sure you are happy with or without a man. If you are with a guy that is emotionally unavailable, this can mean that you will never win him over.
Love is often times blind which means that you allow things to happen that you should never allow. This happens when you are codependent and when you are not able to see what you are worth. When you are with someone that doesn’t communicate with you or has bad behavior, chances are you are ignoring it.
How to Stop
You should allow yourself to have better. Never be with someone that is mean to you and do not go to men that do not treat you with love and respect.
Maybe you let your guy run all over you. If he calls you in the middle of the night for sex, do you go? Does he cancel dates on you often and cancel last minute? Do you feel that he is lying to you or are you letting him be abusive in his words or his actions?
How to Stop
Men will never have any respect for you if you allow them to walk all over you. If you try to hard to please your guy, you need to stop doing this. Make him treat you kindly and if he doesn’t, then stop accepting him to be with you. If he goes away form you, this is happening because you are not allowing him to control you.
Maybe you are with someone for a while and he wants to spend less time with you. What if he stops texting you so much and doesn’t hold you when you are together?
If you are being flirty and you try to act sweet when you are with him and he ignores you, this might mean he isn’t into you anymore.
If you want to have him more interested in you and rekindle the relationship, this may or may not work.
How to Stop
Going after a man that doesn’t have the same feelings for you is a lost cause. If he all of a sudden is not about you, learn to take care of yourself more. Allow your man to have space and do not be overly clingy or needy. If he comes to you and wants to be with you, let him, but make sure he is showing you worth and treating you well.
Never chase a guy that isn’t about you because it will cause you to lose your self-worth and this is not the right person for you.