It can be hard if you have feelings for someone that is your friend. This is something that often happens to people, and you aren’t the only one that has ever went through this.
When you are in a friendship and it starts to turn into something more in your heart, it can cause you to have a struggle inside. You might wonder how you can keep your relationship strong and what will happen if they realize you are falling in love with them.
Look at Your Feelings
Pay attention to your feelings and see what caused this relationship to turn into something more. Look deep and find out what you are really feeling. It can be easy to confuse friendship feelings with romantic feelings. Do you have a strong attraction to someone, and you think about being intimate with them? If this is true, do not act on these feelings and just see where they go.
Take time to journal what you are feeling for this person. Write for a few weeks and see if you are just acting on feelings that are not really love but feelings of being close to someone. Write for a few minutes each day but don’t feel like you have a specific thing that you have to write about.
Write whatever comes to your mind and once you have done this for a couple of weeks, take some time to go back and evaluate what you wrote. See how your feelings have changed over time and see if what you are feeling is real or if you are experiencing other feelings that might just be confusing you.
Decide What’s Next
Once you have figured out what you are feeling and you know that you like them, decide what you are going to do next. What is your friend going to think when you tell them that you like them? What if they don’t like you back? Are you going to risk losing your friend?
Pay attention to how they act towards you. Do they treat you different than other people? Maybe when you look at the relationship deeply you can see if you should tell them or not. See if they seem to have the same feelings you have.
You need to know that there is no real guarantee how your friend is going to react. They may want to just stay friends, or they may have stronger feelings too. Here are some things that can happen when you tell them:
- They feel the same way that you do, and you become romantic.
- They feel the same way as you, but it doesn’t work out.
- They don’t feel the same as you and you keep your strong friendship.
- They don’t feel the same as you and the friendship changes.
Remember that you need to be strong in your mind and body and make sure that you are working through your feelings and that you are figuring out what is best. You may consider talking to someone that is your friend and get them to give you input on what you should do. Talk to someone that you can trust and that will keep your secret.
Once you do these things and you consider all of the possibilities, decide what you want to do and what action you take.
Once you choose to tell your friend what you are feeling, do it with just you and that person. Once you make that decision, make sure that you are being intentional and that you are taking action that will be good for both of you.
You may choose to not tell your friend, and this might make you decide to not interact with them for a while. If you do this in an obvious way, your friend will know something is wrong. You can tell them that you are busy, but this can end up hurting their feelings. You need to make sure that you are being respectful of them during this time.
Another thing that you can do is choose to not think of those feelings. Let your mind be occupied with other things. If the feelings are not returned to you, it may end up hurting you. You may have to distract yourself by doing things such as:
- Spend time with other friends that make you feel good.
- Invest time in a hobby.
- Take on physical activities.
- Write each day.
If you choose to tell your friends your feelings, be prepared for what they say. You can use your journaling to say what you are really feeling so that you can use this to communicate openly with your friend. This can help you to guide the conversation in the way that you want to take it.
Do not have any expectations because you never know what might happen. If you have been intentional in your decision, trust yourself and that is all you can do.
Falling in love with a friend can be hard since you don’t know what the outcome will be. Be aware that you could get what you want, or it might end up being what you hoped it wouldn’t be. You may lose a friend, or you may even make the friendship better. You will never know until you take action and work through your feelings.
Once you realize that you have romantic feelings for your friend, it can cause you a lot of pain in your heart and soul. If you feel like you are not sure what to do and you have a fear of losing someone you love, talk to a professional that can give you advice and help you to make good decisions in your life.