Relationships can be tough and one of the many challenges today are when the couple lives in separate cities. While absence may make the heart grow fonder, it can also be a factor in growing apart.
Today’s younger generation has an advantage in that they aren’t tied to traditional visions of marriage and relationships. They also embrace technology which can bridge the distance.
For those who want to maintain their relationships over the miles, there are 10 ways you can enhance a long-distance relationship:
- Keep communicating.
Any relationship needs communication to be successful. You need to be proactive about this because it could be “out of sight, out of mind” if you both aren’t contributing to regular communication. That means scheduling regular telephone calls as well as live chat. It also means regular emails to share details and tell the other person you love them.
Want to amp up the romance? Send your love a handwritten letter or card. This old-fashioned way of communicating can turn into something special for both of you.
- Use new technology.
We have so much high-tech available today that you might as well use it for real-time communication. Things like Skype and Facetime make it simple to talk face-to-face and cost virtually nothing to communicate long-distance or even internationally. Seeing each other regularly, even if it’s just on a screen, will stir the love.
- Maintain Sense to Work on Trust Issues.
There may be times you are not in contact with your beloved. Whether they are military or working on a project where there is no cell service, or perhaps studying for a big promotion or test, being apart without speaking for a few days could result in insecure feelings that could turn into paranoia.
This is especially true if your partner has moved for school or work. This means he or she is making new friends and hanging out with new colleagues. You need to confront any insecurity or trust issues as they come up.
The best way to do that is to be honest about your feelings to your partner without accusing him or her of doing anything wrong. Once they are aware of your feelings, they could make more of an effort to ensure that you are the most important person in their life.
- Remember why you love them.
Sometimes, it can be easier to get angry or resentful than work on problems. That’s when you need to remember why you chose to be with them to begin with. Thinking about their good qualities and the history you have built together will do a lot to settle unresolved feelings.
- Make the most of your time.
Time together is precious, more precious than ever before. You need to do your best to make that time well remembered. This is where planning is important, whether it’s a romantic dinner at home or going out to a favorite theater. Plan things you both enjoy that will bring back good memories like going to the place where you had your first date or first kiss.
- Flame the spark.
When the love of your life is somewhere else, it is easy to become depressed and sad. It is also easy to let yourself go. Why not? Your partner isn’t here and so there is no reason to look great.
The problem with that line of thinking is your partner will eventually see you and you want to keep up the physical romance. Keep yourself up to make sure the sparks fly when they come to see you.
- Plan both professional and romantic goals.
No one intends to have a long-distance relationship. That is especially true of a married couple. However, sometimes things like military service, education or a promotion pop up and a long-distance relationship is the only way to accommodate it.
Understand this shouldn’t be a forever thing, but is a temporary solution to an immediate dilemma. Talk about the future and when both of you can plan to live under the same roof. Talk about where you might live, there, here, or somewhere else and keep to any promises you made regarding future choices.
- Consider the advantages of time apart.
Many times, situations can be positive or negative depending on your perception. Time apart from your loved one can have some advantages. It can strengthen your bond, make you appreciate them more and allow you to be romantic in ways you never thought of previously.
It also gives you some time to manage things you couldn’t when they were around. That includes home repairs or redecorating, gardening or even some hobbies that mean a lot to you. This could be a time where you can grow as a person and be a better partner for them.
- Be Spontaneous if you can.
This is a fun way to keep romance alive. Send an unexpected gift or something like flowers or chocolates. Also, try to make a surprise visit to your beloved new location. Just make sure that surprise visit isn’t in the middle of a complicated work project or grad school final.
- Keep socially active.
Depression sets in if you feel like you have no one in your life. You have built your world around your partner and now you feel alone. That can go away if you create a social life that fulfills you. Going out with friends for lunch or coffee, or taking a class, will do a lot to perk your spirits and help you remain grounded.
Using these 10 suggestions will help you build a better relationship even across the miles and will also help you discover more things about yourself. Creating a better you will inevitably be noticed by your partner and keep the attraction going.