Growing up, I thought the path was simple: meet someone, get married and have a family. My parents’ story followed that path. My first heartbreak surprised me, and my mother offered me a cigarette because that was what she reached for when my father traveled. She wanted to help, but neither of us knew what to say.
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Let the plan you grew up with change
When I found myself single again after 40, I was unsure how to start. I also knew more about what mattered to me. Think about what you want in a relationship now and what parts of your current life you want to keep. You might be looking for companionship, a long-term partnership or time to explore.
Make time that fits your week
Try a setting you would enjoy anyway, or set aside a limited time to use a dating app. A short first meeting can feel easier to arrange. Make space for friends and ordinary routines so dating doesn’t have to fill every spare hour.
Talk about what matters as you get to know someone
Ask about current responsibilities, time together, how each of you handles change and what you want over the next few years. People at the same age can have very different plans. Give yourself room to ask a question, say what you want and choose what you do next.