Once we’ve experienced the pain of a break up we unknowingly use our children as a relationship protector.
It can be hard to court as a single parent. You have responsibilities that you have to deal with from parental duties to emotions that are brought about by dating and you also have to manage your time well. Although you might feel the need to get into a new relationship, responsibilities of being an alone parent may hinder you from getting into the dating world.
Below are some things that might help you open your heart and keep your mindset clear.
Know when you are ready to move on
There is no specific time for this but you can know when you are ready to give love a try. Court when you don’t feel like courting that’s what I can advise. It is essential to have time and heal if you’ve undergone through a break-up or divorce. Know why you want to date. It’s a good sign if you feel like you’ve healed and you’re ready for anything that dating might bring but if you feel like you still thinking of your sex and feels bad every time then it’s still not a good time for you to move on. It is during this time that a person might feel left out. They might feel like they are missing out on something and need to bounce back immediately and find a new partner. it is good to note that good things take time, therefore you will move on when you’re ready do not rush things.
Know your priorities
As a single parent, finding free time is not easy. You find that you have to do a lot of things at the same time, therefore, you should know what to prioritize. Time is very essential. just like you’re having a good relationship with your kids you need to have that with other relationships as well. Find balance with your life which at times take a lot of practice and there are ups and downs. Making dating a priority in your life is okay. Parenting shouldn’t be a hindrance to your dating life .it’s hard to discover that you’re using your kids as a scapegoat but not difficult to hide in the responsibilities of parenting. Move on if you feel the need to.
When to inform the children
There is no exact time to introduce your new partner to your children. When it’s all about relationships we have no guarantees. There are obstacles in life that you won’t be able to protect your kids from. You need to introduce your kids during your dating days so that you see how they are getting along. Introducing them during a marriage is just not right. Those partners who understand you and appreciate you are the ones you should consider introducing to your kids.
Your kids should face the realities of life. Stop protecting them but let them know about the realities of life. This prepares them for adulthood. As a therapist, I have learned that the best way to build a child is, to be honest with them. Teach them about relationships. Use your relationship as an example and make sure you understand every bit of your relationship.
When you are in a serious relationship do not carry along your children when going on dates until that time you realize it is a committed relationship that will work. You can therefore slowly introduce your kids and make them know the other person well. Be aware of their emotional feelings. How do they react when a relationship between their parents has come to an end? it is through these feelings that you will decide whether to introduce them or not. Be open with them let them express themselves freely and ask how they feel about your new partner. Respect the fact that it might not be easy for them to love your new partner.
Get into a relationship with other single parents
Dating other single parents will make things easy for you since they will understand you better unlike those who are not parents. You will need to inform partners who are not parents how your life operates, unlike partners who are parents. Help them understand your world and let them be aware of the fact that your kids are your priority.
Although dating as a single parent is hard it should be possible. if you are looking for love then it should be a priority. Don’t lose focus though it might be possible to get lost. You will discover that dating and love go hand in hand if you just prioritize things in your life. Know that you are human and deserve to be loved too but don’t forget that your kids need you.