People all through history have had short attention spans. But technology sure has helped inattention to reach a whole new level. We’re not just talking about the way we flick through TV channels while scrolling through social media and listening to a podcast, all at the same time. So how do you stay interested in your relationship? This doesn’t depend on how skilled you may be at first dates and starting relationships. There are just so many more distractions out there today, which makes relationships especially challenging.
It shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is. The best way to start is to be yourself. Always. That said, after a few months, we tend to get comfortable together, drop the perfect mask, and let the crazy show a bit more! So here’s a list (don’t worry, it’s short!) of three things you can do to help keep your guy’s eyes on you, to help him appreciate you for who you are, and stay together for the long haul.
- Learn what his “love languages” are. “Love languages” include things like affirming words, quality time alone, physical affection, romantic dates, and spontaneity. Learning what his “love languages” are may feel like navigating a minefield, but not only is it worth knowing, it’s something that every couple should work out. You may be in love, but it’s important to know what type of love they need. Discover what his are, and you will be showered in return with the affection you seek.
- Figure out what he likes.. One thing that makes people are so intriguing is that each of us is unique and different. We have different quirks, different likes and dislikes, different pleasures and so on. These differences are what allow us to form genuine relationships with other people. But it also means that your guy won’t necessarily like everything you like, and vice versa. But this is a good thing! You certainly wouldn’t want him tagging along with you every time you go for a mani/pedi, right? He feels the same way. So you need to figure out the things that he likes. Stock your fridge with his favorite drinks and snacks on the day of the big game. Give him a gift card to a specialty store related to his hobby or his car. Buy him a jersey for his favorite athlete or team. He’ll appreciate it!
- Space is the secret.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” may be an old saying, but it’s still spot-on. To make sure your guy stays interested, you need to give him some space, some alone-time. Give him the time he needs to pursue his own interests and hobbies. This will give you your own time to do the things you like. So next time he makes plans with the dudes, tell him to go have fun, and schedule your own night out with your friends, or a spa date with your sisters.